Spooky

I direct plays. And as many of you know, even you non-theatre goers, every play has a theme. I would presume it is only normal that I would chose to direct a play I like, that has a theme I can relate to. Is it normal, however, that every play that I direct has a theme that completely reflects the ongoing "theme" in my own life at this present moment? I think not. The last play I directed focused around faith, learning to have faith in one's life, to give up control and let what is meant to be, be. One rehearsal after the next I would leave thinking "wait a minute here, this is my life!" I would sit in rehearsal, coaching the actors, and hear myself say: "you're frustrated because you know what you want but you aren't getting it and you want to be able to control the situation, you want to make it happen, you don't know how to just relax and let things happen the way they were meant to". This was something I was struggling with in my own life. I would hear the thoughts echoing in my head, thoughts I had been saying to myself on a daily basis. It was just so weird.

So I moved on to the next play. Theme? The struggle to find one's purpose in life. Um...if you have read any of my past blogs, you can imagine how much that relates to exactly where I am in my life right now. And it's not like I FORCE this theme. It's not like I am directing Hamlet and I tell my actors "this play is about not knowing if you will get a job".

I mean come on, this is weird right?

Where did I go?

Yes, I know, I haven't posted in a million years. And for two reasons. I have been extremely busy and I tend to think of things that might be interesting to post just as quickly as I toss them out in case they are, in retrospect, uninteresting. I would like to bring your attention to my last post which was titled: "Impatiently Waiting". Hmm...maybe that is another reaon why I haven't posted in so long. Things haven't changed much. That title sums up my current state of being quite accurately. I have, at this present moment in time, applied to approximately 20 positions. And I am waiting and waiting to see what will come of all of this.

I have acquired phone interviews with three of them. The phone interviews went well, I would say. And one University in particular has gone as far as to call my references. Two of the Universities left me with the dreaded comment "We will be in touch with you in a week". This is where the trouble comes in. One would think that would be a fantastic thing to hear, wouldn't one? For me, however, it is a very dangerous thing to say, indeed. I would do much better with something more cold and vague like: "Thanks. Bye." But to tell me they would be in touch with me in a week? What were they thinking? Didn't they know what they were doing to me? Why would this affect me in this way, you may ask? Well, because I can tell you that exactly ONE minute ago was officially "one week" that I last spoke with the aforementionedcheckedmyreferences University. So, naturally, I am sitting here thinking "Well, it's been a week. I haven't heard from them. Why haven't they called me? What does it mean? Did I not interview well? Did they not like what my references said?"

There is no point to any of this, I know that. They could call in 20 minutes or tomorrow or Monday or who knows when. It really doesn't mean anything. But still. People should learn to not say such specific things to such a literal person like me. It's sheer torture.